Gratitude, Gratitude, Gratitude

Since I won't be starting my Beyond Freedom up again until Thursday, I thought I would spend a few minutes just sharing comments about gratitude.

I have always been a spiritual person. I grew up in a Catholic home and went to Catholic school from first grade through high school. I don't remember a time when I ever doubted the existence of God or the fact that Christ was my brother and savior. This sometimes caused me grief as, even in a religious school, I felt made fun of for my beliefs and the seriousness with which I took them.

After graduating from high school, I had a powerful spiritual experience that caused me to leave Catholicism and join The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. I have been a faithful member ever since--going on 21 years now.

Despite these experiences and my association with some amazing people, I sometimes felt my prayers were somewhat rote. And while I believed in God and Jesus Christ, looking back, I didn't feel a strong connection to them in my daily life.

I did not think anything was amiss, though. After all, I was going to church, fulfilling my church callings, and doing what I thought I was required to do.

All that changed the winter of 2006.

The first weekend in December, I attended a powerful business seminar that was about so much more than business! Our teacher, Dani Johnson, opened up her soul to us and taught us to open up our own and let success flow in. I was literally blown away by the power I felt in that seminar.

Then, on the second day, as I was driving in from where I was staying and pondering what I had learned the day before, I had the most powerful spiritual experience of my life. At that moment the heavens opened up to me and learned more about God, Jesus Christ, myself, and my purpose here on earth than I thought possible. (You can read more about what happened to me here.)

I was absolutely overcome and just started crying and crying and crying. I don't know how I managed to keep driving!

Among the things that I learned that day is the power of gratitude.

You see, in my religion, we are taught that when we pray we are to begin by thanking God for all He has given us.

For me, this meant a rote "thank you for this day, thank you for my house, thank you for my family," and then I would move into other things.

But what I learned from my vision is that your heart should be so filled with gratitude that you hardly want to get up off of your knees.

And if you really really really understand all that you have in this life, that feeling can be a constant, daily occurrence. I believe it is the true meaning of the scriptures that counsel us to "pray always" (too many references to list here).

It all makes perfect sense, really.

Imagine for a moment that you knit a sweater for someone you love. You spend time carefully picking the pattern and selecting the perfect yarn--it's more expensive than you anticipated, but, you rationalize, it's worth it for this special someone. Next you spend hours and hours and hours--every spare moment--knitting. You give up evenings out and other things that you enjoy because your heart and soul and time is consumed with love for this person and this precious gift you are creating just for them.

Finally, it's finished. You look at the sweater and admire it. My goodness, it's beautiful--what a great job you have done! You imagine what it will be like to give this person the sweater--what they will say, the expression on their face, how good it will look on them.

The day arrives when you present your gift, and you hold your breath just a little--giddy with anticipation for your loved one's reaction. Your loved one opens the gift and says...

"Yeah, um, I'm not one for sweaters," or "Ugh, that is so not my color," or "Yeah, thanks for the sweater, but what I really wanted was a sweatshirt."

How would this make you feel? And how likely would be you give this person anything else?

The pain, the disappointment, the frustration, the sadness...all those feelings are exactly what our Father in Heaven feels when we put down, show indifference, or even complain about the many wondrous gifts he has given us. Gifts that are all around, if only we have eyes to see them.

This morning as I was driving to the gym, I was overcome with gratitude for the blessings of my life. I cannot believe that I was chosen to do and experience all these amazing gifts.

My heart was so full that tears spilled out of my eyes. What a wonderful world. What a gracious and loving God. I hardly want to get off of my knees.

Lesson 29: Beyond Freedom

Well, today is the last day.

I mapped out the Beyond Freedom program into 29 lessons so that, by completing just one lesson per day, I can finish the entire thing in one month.

And here we are.

How did I do? Unfortunately, I skipped many, many lessons. I got busy doing other things. I got sidetracked. Life got in the way.

Which is not to say, of course, that I did not learn lessons along the way--I did! But how much more would I have gained if I had simply followed directions? If I had only followed through on the commitment I made to myself? Is it any wonder that when when we don't make the corrections, we don't see the results?

The Beyond Freedom course says, "Even a single day of missed practice results in a backslide of progress which may take up to four additional days to recover." I am grateful for the opportunity to begin again. That's one of the things that makes this program so great! You get to do it over and over and over until you get it.

Funny...sounds just like life. Ever notice how the same lesson keeps popping up over and over and over? God gives us every possible chance to get it right!

Exercise: What is Possible?

There is a note with this final lesson that says, "You may now require a lifetime to answer." This is no doubt true! But what I am going to write about today is my vision for my future. What I now see as possible. What I now am working to bring to pass. I believe it is the reason I am here--on this earth generally, and in this community specifically. It's working title (subject to change!) is "e-squared."

My whole life I have been drawn to live theatre. There is a magic in it that I can't describe. It is different than movies and TV--more raw, more real.

As long as I can remember, theatre has given me something to dream about. It has opened my mind and stretched my imagination. It has fueled my passion and given me permission to experience a joy that for some reason I felt I was not allowed to have in "real" life.

When I was young, I dreamed of being on Broadway, but as I grew older, "reality" set in. I came to believe I wasn't pretty enough or talented enough. I did not want to experience the rejection after rejection that comes from practically begging for a job. I did not want the lifestyle--sleeping in, staying out late, not being able to have a "normal" family. And so I "settled" for community theatre.

Most days, I do not regret my decision. I have made something of a name for myself in community theatre. I met my husband here. I am raising my children here. We are teaching our children the importance of having interests outside of day to day living. And we are quite happy.
Before I found this community, when I was working another business, I followed teachers Hans and Dani Johnson. They started me on the path of personal development, and I love and respect them greatly. Hans and Dani taught us to have goals bigger than ourselves. They taught us that we really could accomplish amazing things--changing the world if we wanted to. And I distinctly remember Hans saying, "Don't think for a second that YOU are not the one to do it."

That sentence pierced me to the very soul. But at the time, I didn't have dreams big enough to really understand what he was saying.

Later, I found Beyond Freedom and one of the very first lessons has us create a list of 101 things we want to do before we die. I struggled to come up with 19!

At the time, I had a vague notion that I somehow wanted to affect the entertainment industry. I wanted to support artists--make it easier to create art without having to worry about money (maybe a scholarship fund?), support the work of people who were creating a positive, uplifting message in the industry. I kicked around the idea of starting a radio station that played empowering music.

And then one night I was listening to a training call where Shannon was talking about Donald Trump. She said that at one point he was $900 million in personal debt. I thought she must be wrong. She must have meant $9 million--I mean, no one is in personal debt for almost one billion dollars!

After I got off the call, I started researching Donald to find out if this was true, and sure enough, it was. Mr. Trump got his start in real estate. His father had done real estate, and he studied it in college. In fact, he ate, slept, and breathed it for many years--learning the ins and outs. In the 1980s, the real estate market was having a tough time, and many of Donald's friends were getting out and going into dot coms. They encouraged Donald to join them, and he considered it, but ultimately he said, "No, real estate is what I know. I need to stick with what I know."

Something about that phrase struck a cord with me and I began to realize that live theatre is what I know. It's what I love more than anything in the world. It's what I eat, sleep and breathe. And I realized that I can make a difference through live theatre.

Live theatre inspired me. It gave me hope. It opened my eyes to what is possible in the world. But not all theatre is created equal.

Much of the greatest art and literature is born of angst. Much of the entertainment that people enjoy reaffirms their own pain--for example, your boyfriend cheats on you, so you spend the day listening to "Your Cheatin' Heart" all day every day.

But there is music and theatre out there that lifts, motivates, inspires, and empowers. I want to be instrumental in bringing more of that to the stage AND to introducing it to more and more people.

What is amazing to me about all of this is that I am ALREADY in a position to start making this happen--it was all around me and I didn't even realize it!

I serve on the board of The Little Theatre of Alexandria (LTA). Each year, LTA sponsors a one act competition. People submit scripts from all across the country. LTA picks a winner, produces it, and enters it into the Northern Virginia Theater Alliance (NVTA) one act competition.

LTA makes little to no money for doing this. The authors submit entry fees, but that money goes toward prize money and production costs. They put on two performances (I think) and don't charge for tickets. And there is no prize money associated with the NVTA competition.

Also, there are basically no guidelines for the entries. They can be in any style about anything. And it seems the main criteria for the winner is that it is easy to produce (minimal set, costume, etc.).

My plan is to sponsor the competition. I will design the criteria--which is simply that it must have a particular message or theme. I will produce it and promote it to high schools, churches, and other organizations that want to promote a positive, empowering message. And I will charge for tickets!

I could spend all day talking about what this will be. And as the idea develops more and more, I will write more and more of these things down.

But my vision for the future--my future--is so bright. It is so crystal clear. It is so exciting!

Lesson 22a: Defining Success

Here I am on Lesson 22--what happened to the last 18 lessons?

Alas, I have been distracted, and I haven't done my Beyond Freedom. I have nothing to say, just excuses, excuses, excuses.

If I were going through this for the first time, I would pick up where I left off and do Lesson 5. But since I have done it before, and I really want to stick with with my monthly schedule, I am picking up at Lesson 22. It's pretty amazing, actually--that's the lesson we discussed last night on Shannon's Beyond Freedom call.

Exercise: Charting Your Life

It's kind of tricky to do this life chart in the blog--I don't know how to draw pictures. But I'll just list out the important events and rate them.

Birth-5

Like most people, I don't remember the early part of my life well. Though I assume it was, for the most part, happy. No tragedies that I know of. +10.

Kindergarten

When I was in Kindergarten, my family was in a pretty serious car accident. Though I was so young, I was kind of oblivious--I'll rate it a -2.

My mother was hurt pretty badly, so my brother and I were sent to live with my Uncle. I'll rate that a -4.

We had a good time, though, and we developed independence at a very young age. +6

Grades 1-4

These were very good years for me. I was "popular"--had a lot of friends, boys liked me. I was very happy. +10

Grade 5

This is where it started to crumble. I was starting to change. I wasn't pretty anymore. Other girls were starting to get the boys' attention. I struggled with my self esteem. -6

Grades 6-11

These were really the worst years of my life--around 6th grade, life got really dramatic, as hormones kicked in, boys became important, and popularity cliques started forming. In high school, my dad started suffering from a mental illness that would dominate the next 10 years of all of our lives. -9

Summer Before Senior Year

I had a brief respite the summer before my senior year. I spent the summer in San Diego working at Sea World. I had a chance to recreate myself with people I didn't know--people I hadn't grown up with. This summer changed the course of my life. +8

Grade 12

I was so stressed out from everything going on--school, lack of popularity, my dad's illness, my parent's crumbling marriage--that I ended up home in bed for a couple months. I missed so much school that I had to drop out of some classes and rearrange my schedule to catch up. As soon as I graduated, I moved out (in with my Grandma) and then went away to college as soon as I could. -8

First 2 Years of College

These were the best years of my life. I made incredible friends, had a BLAST, enjoyed my freedom, joined the church. +10

The Next 4 Years

The next four years were spent trying to recreate the magic from the first two. We all moved away, I transferred schools and hated it, I took a year off, I came back. I wasn't so concerned about popularity anymore, but I was itching to get out in the real world and live my dreams. +5

The First Year after Graduation

This was a tough year. I had fulfulled a dream and moved to the East, but I couldn't find a job. I was just about to give up. +2

The SoftMed Years

I finally found a job, and I LOVED it. I loved every moment of it. I couldn't wait to go to work. Life was awesome. +10

Theatre and Dan

I started doing theatre and got great reviews. One of the best moments of my entire life was being in the parade. I won an award. I met Dan. We fell in love and got married. +10

The Kids

The kids came quickly and were a joy. They continue to be. +10

The Businesses

Life started getting stressful when I started my businesses. The first was my own creation, built from scratch. I was SO excited--it was going to make me a millionaire. Then I started doing network marketing and found that I loved it. Then I started a website to help others with their network marketing business. +6

The Businesses Cont.

Life started getting really really stressful. So much time and effort and nothing to show for it. It lands me in the hospital with a suspected heart attach. -6

Enter Beyond Freedom

I join the Beyond Freedom community, and I'm really excited about it. But I'm not doing as well as I had hoped--what's wrong? +2

E-Squared

I never did know why I had joined the community. I felt like the Universe/God wanted me here and I was just blindly following. I hadn't plugged into my passion. I come up with an idea for a live theatre experience--Empowering Entertainment ("e" squared)--and I can NOT stop thinking about it. I start taking steps to realize the dream and business takes off. +10

Lesson 4: Some Simple Truths

What an amazing day...and it's not even over yet! The kids have the day off of school, and sometimes it can be challenging to find things that keep them occupied while still allowing me to do the things I enjoy. But today has been just delightful!

Our day started with a parent-teacher conference for my son. He just started Kindergarten, so we were anxious to hear how he is doing! The first thing the teacher went over was his score on a recent assessment. The benchmark as a score of 61. He got 177!!!!! Ha ha ha! Amazing...

Next the kids and I stopped by the theatre where my husband and I "work"--volunteer, actually. It's our favorite hobby--I'm onstage and he's backstage. We had to stop by to order some tickets for Awards night this weekend. My husband has been nominated for two awards--one for co-set design and one for set construction. I'm pretty confident that he'll win at least one of them--unfortunately, I won't be able to be there to cheer him on because I am performing that night at another local theatre.

Anyway, we had to pay for his ticket for the reception. Since I will be elsewhere, he's going to have to take the kids with him, and we weren't sure whether we were going to have to buy tickets for the kids, too. Turns out they are going to let them come for free! Woo hoo!

Next we headed out to the pool. Today is a training day for me (training for a triathlon!), and normally I would just go while they are in school. But, since they had to come along, they donned their suits as well and we checked out a relatively new pool quite a ways away from us. It was AWESOME!!! They had a kids area with sprays and a slide, the pool was only 18 inches deep, and there was a full time lifeguard there to watch them while I went and did my laps. And it was FREE for me because it was part of the county-wide system where I normally swim. Cool! We are definitely going to go back there again.

After swimming, we went to lunch and ate outside in the beautiful, warm, but-not-hot, 85 degree weather. It was just delightful. As soon as we got home, I got a call from someone wanting to find out more about my business--how much better can it get?

So, now on to my Beyond Freedom...

Exercise: The Ideal Me

The first time I went through the program, I completely skipped this exercise--like I blocked it out, and it wasn't even there! Hmmm...I wonder what that is a sign of? Perhaps I am afraid to write it down in the event that I don't BECOME it--a psychological avoidance technique to protect me contradicting myself. Even now, I have done everything I could to avoid the exercise: I took a short nap, I put dinner on, and now I have caught myself surfing the web. I wonder why this is so frightening for me?

When describing the ideal me, I have to categorize it by area. There are just so many facets to a person!

Physically

I am beautiful. People notice me right away and comment on my beauty. My body is thin and lean. I am strong and healthy. My skin is soft and supple. My hair is thick and attractively styled. I am energetic and full of life.

Intellectually

I am smart, funny, and quick witted. People love to be around me because I challenge them to be better while at the same time I make them feel good about right where they are. I make people laugh. People love to be around me.

Artistically

I am a true performer. I love singing, acting, and dancing, not only for how I feel doing it, but for how it affects the people watching. I am instrumental in bringing to the stage works of theatre that empower and inspire. People thank me for changing their lives--for allowing them to see their own true worth in a way they never could before. Through theatre, I make a real difference in people's lives, and I leave them better than I found them.

As a Wife

I am loving, supportive, and available. I encourage my husband to live his best life, and I support him in achieving all that he sets out to do. I am loved and desired--I make my husband feel so good about himself, that he cannot get enough of me.

As a Parent

I am an encouraging and guiding force in my children's lives. I provide the freedom for them to make their own choices and experience their own consequences, yet I teach them all that I have learned so that they may make good choices and experience the rewards that come from living in harmony with God's laws. My children respect me and trust me. I encourage them to live their best lives and support them in achieving all they set out to do. I am loved--I make them feel so good about themselves that they always want me to be an important part of their lives.

As a Force for Good in the World--a Child of God

I stand as a witness of God at all times and in all things, and in all places that I may be in (Mosiah 18:9). I take a stand for the potential for greatness in every human being. In everything I do, I encourage, lift and inspire. I stand as an example for others to follow by living my own life in harmony with God's laws. I actively seek ways to help spread the message of truth and goodness and the power of every individual to rise up and step into their own divinely appointed seat as heirs to the kingdom of God.

Wow...that felt good!!! I can't imagine why I was avoiding the experience. Just like the description of my ultimate day, I need to make it a practice to write this out every day! So awesome...

Lesson 3: What is Possible

I am so grateful for my life!

This morning I was tidying the table and found that my daughter had left one of her school books here. So I got in the car and drove to school to bring it to her. I am so grateful that I have the freedom and flexibility to do that! Other moms might have to be at work and wouldn't even notice or have the time to take it in.

I went to the school and signed in. The secretary saw me, but walked away before I had a chance to tell her why I was there. So I just headed to my daughter's classroom and dropped off the book. When I came back to the office, I commented that I figured she trusted me. She said that if it had been any other parent, she would have stopped them. How cool is that? I am able to be involved with my kids, their lives, the school...life is great!

So, on to today's lesson...

Exercise: What derailed you?

Part 1: Excuse

When I look at the goals I have set recently and wonder why I got off track, it seems to always boil down to one thing: being tired.

Being tired seems to be my standard excuse for everything: not eating right, not keeping the house clean, falling behind in my commitments to the organizations I am involved in, not doing my reading for my class, not stepping up my business--just about everything.

Sometimes I am physically tired (for example, from truly not enough sleep), other times I am overwhelmed (and I just want to sleep and "turn off"), other times I am intellectually tired (like thinking of a solution--I know if I just relax it will come to me).

The problem is that this creates a viscious cycle: if I'm too tired to eat right, I eat unhealthy food, which in turn saps my energy and makes me more tired. If am overwhelmed and want to sleep because I have so much to do, sleeping just makes the work pile up more, which makes me want to sleep more, etc.

Part 2: Solution

Knowing that this was going to be the lesson today, I was thinking about this yesterday and I had a powerful realization.

I am passionate about the overcoming story. I love to hear about people who have triumphed over poverty, abuse, disability, and other disadvantages. I always imagine that if I had that problem, I would be one of those success stories! And yet, when it comes to my own challenges, I succumb! I fall back on the excuse!

I need to persevere in the face of my challenges, just like I would expect others to persevere in the face of theirs! That means doing things even though I am tired. Not using it as an excuse to keep me down!

Of course, there are also some strategies for managing my energy so that I feel less tired in the first place. In fact, I recently read an incredible book called The Power of Full Engagement by Jim Loehr and Tony Schwartz. This book is what spurred me to get off my butt and start exercising--ultimately to train for a triathlon! I am committed to going back to this book and applying more of the strategies they teach.

The key, however, and this is something we hear all over the place in the Beyond Freedom community and, for example, in the movie The Secret, is not to focus on the problem, but instead to focus on the opposite of the problem--the goal. So, instead of saying, "What can I do to make me less tired?" (which just makes me think of and focus on tired), I need to say, "What can I do that will give me more energy?" Or, "Will the choice I am making right now give me more energy?"

And then, of course, when I have more energy, I must focus it on what matters. But that's a lesson for another time.

Lesson 2: Beyond Freedom

I wondered yesterday why I was doing two exercises. I'll have to remember for next time to do the second exercise on the second day!

So, since I don't have an exercise to complete, I'm just going to write some gratitude notes for this wonderfully amazing day.

My day started with going swimming. I am training for a triathalon--a story for another time (actually, I will probably write it in a few days when I get to the lesson on setting goals!). Anyway, right now I am doing an 8 week swimming rotation. This is the beginning of the third week.

I always thought I could swim. I mean, I took lessons, and it didn't seem all that hard. But I have a new appreciation for swimmers--there is a lot to remember!

I never realized it before, but before I got involved with the Beyond Freedom community, I lived my life RESENTING the people who had what I wanted. Now I know that if you live that way, you will never get what you want. Why? Because it creates a paradox. If you resent people who have X, and you have X, then you resent yourself--and your mind will never allow that to happen. T. Harv Eker wrote in his book, Secrets of the Millionaire Mind, about a native tribe who had a saying, "Bless that which you want." This sums it up perfectly. So now I actively seek out people who have what I want--I introduce myself, I talk to them, I compliment them, I ask them for advice. This small principle has absolutely transformed my life!

Last week when I went swimming, the woman in the lane next to me had a beautiful stroke. So I watched her carefully to pick up some pointers. Today, she was next to me again, and I commented on it! She thanked me and said she was a swimming instructor and that she works really hard to have good technique. Later, she gave me advice on how I can improve. Awesome! I'm hoping I see her again--what a valuable resource! It's amazing what the law of attraction can bring into our lives...

After swimming I came home and had a great session with my marketing coach and learned some very valuable lessons that I was able to apply--and see results with--right away. Awesome! He complimented me on my website--said I was very unique and stood out in a crowd. Woo hoo! Just what I was aiming for!

Next I got cleaned up and did a little shopping, then the kids came home and we talked and got caught up on their day. Then we headed out for ballet.

We were a little early, so we stopped by a local park, and while the kids played, I sat and soaked up the beauty of the incredibly gorgeous day. The weather was perfect, and the park was on the banks of the Potomac River--so beautiful! While at the park, I got a call from a property manager to arrange for our private tour of a new lakefront development. We will head down there in a couple weeks to spend the weekend, check out the property, and consider investing for retirement.

Next I dropped my daughter off at ballet and tuned in to a team call where the leaders were talking about all the fun things planned for our trip to Cancun NEXT WEEK. I am sooooo excited to see everyone! Not to mention participate in what is going to be an amazing personal development conference. "Beyond Freedom come to life," I heard someone say recently.

I am just so grateful for my life, this community, the personal growth I have received from tuning in. To quote Emile Coue, the french psychologist, "Every day, in every way, I'm getting better and better."

:o)

Lesson 1: Introduction

Ah...fresh and clean and new...I even put a new skin on this blog so that it matches my work at home website. Awesome!

First, let me just start by expressing gratitude. I am so grateful for my life! The sun is shining, the air is crisp. I live in a beautiful home in a safe, secure, lovely area. We live close enough to the city to have all sorts of good restaurants, night life, theatre, etc. at our fingertips, and yet we live just far enough away to not feel crowded, be in good schools, have access to nature and fresh air. It really is perfect.

And I'm so grateful for the Beyond Freedom community. Last night on Shannon's call we shared experiences and breakthroughs and insights in this grand adventure of life and personal development. It is SO heartening to hear how other people have changed and grown, and it gives me such confidence to introduce this program and this community to anyone--anyone who truly takes advantage of it WILL succeed here.

Exercise: Ultimate Day

I wake up refreshed and renewed with the sun. I love the cool crisp air, and I breathe deeply. I linger only briefly in bed, enjoying the light and the silence--perhaps a few birds are chirping, welcoming the day.

I get up out of bed and enjoy the solitude--I am the first one up. I get dressed, wash my face, and brush my hair, and then I head downstairs where I enjoy the view of water--perhaps a lake or the ocean. The newness of the sun and all of nature around me gently waking up fills me with joy and gratitude for this beautful earth and the time I get to spend here. I practice my yoga, feeling the stretch and enjoying the strength of my body. I am pleased with my figure and proud of how I have had the self discipline to sculpt it into something I enjoy living in and looking at.

Next I enjoy some physical exercise--perhaps a jog or a bike ride. Maybe a swim if it's warm enough. As I exercise my body, I again feel the joy of my strength and persistance. Look! I have the body I always wanted! I am overcome with joy and struggle to hold back a few tears at the thought.

I return home just as my family is waking up. My husband and I take a shower and enjoy a delicious breakfast of fresh, bountiful fruit with the children.

After breakfast, we spend time as a family. Maybe we play a game, maybe we go outside, maybe we talk about our lives and what we want to accomplish while we're here. Maybe we read or laugh or just hug and love each other.

Our lunch consists of a large, fresh, green salad. We take our time and enjoy the crisp, delicious goodness.

After lunch, we go our separate ways. I work on a project of some kind--maybe it's a little business, maybe it's paying bills, blogging, scrapbooking, or writing letters. Maybe I am taking a class and doing homework. Something to focus on and stimulate my mind for a few hours.

For dinner, Dan and I and a few friends go out for some fabulous vegetarian cuisine. Afterwards we head to the theatre, where my production company is getting ready to present one of our signature empowering plays. People have come from all over to see it. They know that when they come to see one of OUR shows, they are going to leave feeling good about themselves and the world. And they will feel like they can accomplish anything they set out to do.

After the show, there is a reception and people keep coming up to me to tell me how much they enjoyed the production and what a great concept our production company is. They tell me stories of how our productions have changed their lives and the lives of people they know.

Dan and I leave--not too late--and soak in the feelings of gratitude and accomplishment. We feel we have really made a difference.

We come home pleasantly tired--not exhausted--and Dan tells me how grateful he is to have married a woman with such vision and drive, and he wonders aloud what his life would have been like without me.

We end the evening intimately, passionately, and with complete satisfaction that we have lived the ultimate day.

Wow. What a powerful exercise. I have done it before, of course, and I was tempted to just go get my previous journal and write in here what I wrote before. But I was too lazy to get up and go get it, so I decided to just write it out again. And wow. The feelings that came up! I should write that out every single day! I want to live that day!!!!

Exercise: Advice

The best advice I ever received was from my friend Sylvia. It was the summer before our senior year of college, and I remember I was housesitting for a friend of mine while she was on her honeymoon. I had signed up with a temp agency and was hoping they would call me with work. I hadn't worked in several days, and money was running out. I remember I was talking to Sylvia on the phone, and I said something like, "If they don't have any work for me tomorrow, I'm going to be so mad." I have never forgotten Sylvia's response: "Margie, don't look forward to being in a bad mood."

I can't say I have always followed that advice, but I CAN say, it was the best advice I ever received. Focus on the positive. Don't anticipate, hope for, or look forward to the negative!

Sometimes we focus on negative things just so we can have something to talk about--we think it makes life more interesting. But it doesn't make it more interesting, it just makes it more negative.

Another piece of great advice I recently received from reading the book, Secrets of the Millionaire Mind by T. Harv Eker. He writes about how he had come across a particular native tribe (in Hawaii?) who had a saying, "Bless that which you want." This has also been really eye opening for me. You see, I have always resented and cursed people who have what I want--beauty, fame, fortune, and (when I was single) a boyfriend/husband. But if you do this, you will NEVER achieve these things! Because it creates a paradox in your mind--are these things good or bad? You say they're good, but they must be bad because you always say/think negative things about people who have them!

A New Beginning

Wow. I can't believe it has been two whole months since I last posted on this blog. Time flies so quickly!

I have been busy rehearsing for a play (which is now running--done with rehearsals!) and working hard in my new position as Governor for Membership at our local theatre. Not to mention all of the other daily stuff like taking care of the house and kids, the PTA, my triathlon training, etc., etc.

Though I have continued to plug into the Beyond Freedom Community, I have let my own person development work slip. For shame!

So, this being the first of the month, I decided now was a good time to start fresh.

The Beyond Freedom program is sold as a "90-day home study course," but there aren't 90 days of activities. In fact, there are 29 distinct lessons, so I figure it would be each to do one lesson per day and consequently complete the entire program in one month. That is my plan for the month of October.

I intend to use this blog as my journal during the process. That is what it was supposed to be from the beginning, but it turned out to be a series of articles regarding my breakthroughs--valuable, yes, but not really "raw."

So today it is a new beginning. I can't wait! :o)