Lesson 3: What is Possible

I am so grateful for my life!

This morning I was tidying the table and found that my daughter had left one of her school books here. So I got in the car and drove to school to bring it to her. I am so grateful that I have the freedom and flexibility to do that! Other moms might have to be at work and wouldn't even notice or have the time to take it in.

I went to the school and signed in. The secretary saw me, but walked away before I had a chance to tell her why I was there. So I just headed to my daughter's classroom and dropped off the book. When I came back to the office, I commented that I figured she trusted me. She said that if it had been any other parent, she would have stopped them. How cool is that? I am able to be involved with my kids, their lives, the school...life is great!

So, on to today's lesson...

Exercise: What derailed you?

Part 1: Excuse

When I look at the goals I have set recently and wonder why I got off track, it seems to always boil down to one thing: being tired.

Being tired seems to be my standard excuse for everything: not eating right, not keeping the house clean, falling behind in my commitments to the organizations I am involved in, not doing my reading for my class, not stepping up my business--just about everything.

Sometimes I am physically tired (for example, from truly not enough sleep), other times I am overwhelmed (and I just want to sleep and "turn off"), other times I am intellectually tired (like thinking of a solution--I know if I just relax it will come to me).

The problem is that this creates a viscious cycle: if I'm too tired to eat right, I eat unhealthy food, which in turn saps my energy and makes me more tired. If am overwhelmed and want to sleep because I have so much to do, sleeping just makes the work pile up more, which makes me want to sleep more, etc.

Part 2: Solution

Knowing that this was going to be the lesson today, I was thinking about this yesterday and I had a powerful realization.

I am passionate about the overcoming story. I love to hear about people who have triumphed over poverty, abuse, disability, and other disadvantages. I always imagine that if I had that problem, I would be one of those success stories! And yet, when it comes to my own challenges, I succumb! I fall back on the excuse!

I need to persevere in the face of my challenges, just like I would expect others to persevere in the face of theirs! That means doing things even though I am tired. Not using it as an excuse to keep me down!

Of course, there are also some strategies for managing my energy so that I feel less tired in the first place. In fact, I recently read an incredible book called The Power of Full Engagement by Jim Loehr and Tony Schwartz. This book is what spurred me to get off my butt and start exercising--ultimately to train for a triathlon! I am committed to going back to this book and applying more of the strategies they teach.

The key, however, and this is something we hear all over the place in the Beyond Freedom community and, for example, in the movie The Secret, is not to focus on the problem, but instead to focus on the opposite of the problem--the goal. So, instead of saying, "What can I do to make me less tired?" (which just makes me think of and focus on tired), I need to say, "What can I do that will give me more energy?" Or, "Will the choice I am making right now give me more energy?"

And then, of course, when I have more energy, I must focus it on what matters. But that's a lesson for another time.