Lesson 6: Living With Intent

Today's lesson is about designing the life you really want and then stepping into that life.

So many people (myself included) are so busy reacting to what's going on in their lives that they don't stop and look at what they really want. One day they wake up and their life has passed and they have nothing left but empty dreams and unfulfilled wishes.

While I have always been a "driven" person--never stopping until what I got in my head I wanted to do was done--I don't really feel like I was "goal oriented." By that I mean that the challenges I took on were things that were right in front of me. I never looked in the distance, picked something I wanted to do, and then set out to do it. Sure, I had dreams (like being on Broadway), but I always convinced myself that "I couldn't"--I wasn't pretty enough, I wasn't talented enought, etc. No one ever told me these things--I just watched the Tony awards or saw a play and compared myself in my mind.

[Interesting breakthrough on this: I have this "thing" about being told what to do when it's something I already know. For example, I knew I had to clean my room, and I fully intended to do it. But when my mom would ask me to clean it, I would get defensive. This pattern has been played over and over in my life. I am hypercritical of myself so that I can beat someone else to the punch. I decide I can't before someone else tells me I can't. Wow...I need to think about this some more. What can I do to break the pattern?]

This type of mindgame is, perhaps, more damaging than than if someone had actually told me I couldn't.

You see, when someone else tells you something, you can choose whether or not to believe it. It's only when you begin to agree with what has been said--when you tell yourself that you can't--that begin to act and make decisions that reinforce it.

To correct this, you simply tell yourself a new story--whatever you want. The problem for many of us is that we have conditioned ourselves one way for so long that it has become a habit to think a certain way. But, as you know, all habits can be broken and replaced with new habits.

Today's exercise was about creating your story. What do you want to do? How do you want to live? It suggests writing it as a narrative or starting with a list of 101 things you want to do before you die.

The first time I did this exercise, I struggled to come up with 19. Even so, the exercise has absolutely transformed my life--far more than I have time to write about right now.

Here, though, are the things on my list:

Physical
1. Complete a triathlon (scheduled for August 16, 2008!)
2. Have a thin, firm, well-toned body that I am happy and comfortable in (on my way!)
3. Get a weekly massage (I think I'm going to start this next week)
4. Get a weekly manicure and pedicure (one of my earlier goals was just to get a pedicure--I did that (for the first time in my life) on May 17, 2007)
5. Fast at True North
6. Visit Regency Health Spa
7. Take dance lessons
8. Attend an NHA Convention
9. Shave my head

Travel
10. Visit Cape Cod/Martha's Vineyard
11. Go on a vegetarian cruise
12. Swim with dolphins at Discovery Cove
13. Outerbanks, North Carolina

Altruism
14. Help NHA launch a physician education program
15. Write $5000 checks to my favorite causes
16. Develop an empowering theatre program (in the planning stages right now!)
17. Grant wishes
18. Buy a dream home for my mom
19. Start a community beautification project

Living
20. Remodel my home
21. Have a gardner
22. Have a cleaning service (will happen this year)
23. Own or otherwise have access to a beach/lake house
24. Live in a clean, simple home
25. Live green--organic, sustainable food & energy

Intellectual/Skills
26. Learn to Play Piano by ear/chord sheets/improv
27. Take Moroccan cooking lessons in Morocco
28. Take Lebanese cooking lessons

Emotional
29. Speak to crowds of thousands
30. Perform on Broadway
31. Complete a National Tour
32. Perform one more featured role in a musical

Financial
33. Have a net worth of $1 million by December 31, 2008
34. Have liquid assets worth $2 million by December 31, 2009
35. Retire my husband by the age of 45

Well that's 35--66 left to go! ;o)