THE STORY
So, I guess I'll start by writing about Field Day today at my daughter's school--it was surprisingly emotional!
In case you don't remember from your own grade school days (I didn't!), Field Day is a day set aside for Physical Education activities. When I was a kid, it included things like a football toss, a hula hoop contest, a mile jog, etc.
At my daughter's school, they had two days--one for the little kids and one for the big kids. I attended the big kid day today, and they had things like a modified volleyball game, an obstacle course, several water games, and so on.
Anyway, last year, the PE Teacher asked the PTA if we would provide popsicles for the kids, and I agreed to purchase them and hand them out. They had a strict policy about younger siblings not participating, and since my four year old son was going to be with me, it was easier to do this than help out at one of the game stations. Besides, one of my limiting beliefs has been that I am "not a very fun adult" and "not very good with kids"--so this would be a much more "comfortable" position.
Last year went well, so the PE Teacher asked if I would do it again this year.
Because I am getting better at saying no (!), I said I would be willing to it today, but not both days.
So, all I did was buy the popcicles, pre-count them out into bags for each class, show up and hand them out.
Why was it that I spent the afternoon crying?
To understand that, I have to back up a little bit. As part of the Beyond Freedom community, I get to plug into a daily motivation and inspiration call--we call it the "Wake Up to Success" call. Each week, there is a different theme, and a few weeks ago, the theme was having fun.
This series of calls had a powerful effect on me. You see, I don't know the first thing about fun. It's a foreign word to me--not in my vocabulary. In fact, I remember having a conversation once with this guy I had a crush on. He was telling me about this girl he liked (and eventually married), and I asked him what he liked about her. The first thing that came out of his mouth was that she was "fun." I remember thinking what a stupid way to judge whether or not to settle down with someone. I mean, sure, you should get along and enjoy each other's company, but there are more important things in life than FUN!
Anyway, so when I heard our leaders talking about how in order to be successful you had to have fun, it really hit me. Hard. NO WONDER I was having so much trouble in my business! People looked at me--stressed out, overworked and over committed--and thought NO WAY do I want to do what you do! Even if I was hiding it and sounding peppy on the phone, the universe knew the truth, and the universe speaks much louder than I do!
So I began a quest to have fun, and what I realized is that I just don't know how. I have layers and layers and layers and layers of ego--pride. "That's not me," "What will people think?," and "Oh, grow up."
A few weeks ago I was at a Dani event in Minneapolis and ran into an acquaintance that I knew, from a previous conversation, was the kind of person who liked to have a lot of fun. I told her about this experience and asked her what kinds of things she did for fun. She told me something very powerful.
"Margie," she said, "I find fun in everything I do."
She had to go, and we didn't have a chance to talk more, but her words rang in my ears and are still with me.
THE LESSON
So what does this have to do with Field Day?
As I sat with my cooler, watching the kids playing their games, the thought came over me--I was never one of these kids.
I often say I was born an adult. For as long as I can remember, I wanted to do adult things. I had little tolerance for the kids around me and their petty games and inconsequential activities! I had bigger fish to fry! Even being a kid was "business" to me.
So I watched these kids (and the teachers that were joining them)--laughing, running around, having fun, being rambunctious--and I started to cry about how much I have missed.
So many years wasted. So many layers to peel off to really let myself go.
So much to learn.
TAKE ACTION
- If you like what you read in this blog and would like to find out more about the Beyond Freedom program, please contact the person that sent you here. If you found this blog by accident (knowing, of course, that there are no accidents), you may contact me at beyondfreedom@theremmersfamily.com
- Laugh and have fun at least once each day.
- Put on your favorite song and dance as if no one is watching.
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