| This post is my thoughts on a lesson from the Beyond Freedom home study course for personal growth and life achievement. This course has been instrumental in transforming my life from stress-full to stress-FREE. Order your own copy today at: http://www.LibertyLeague.com/margieremmers And transform YOUR life from where you are now, to where you want to be. |
So yesterday I talked about my own personal explanation as to why we hold our beliefs so tightly. You can read yesterday's post to learn my outlandish theory.
Today it's time to take a look at how we can change our beliefs.
Some beliefs are easy to change. For example, when I am on the phone with a potential client and they hang up on me (which occasionally happens), I could believe that they are rude (and get upset) or that there is something wrong with me (and get depressed). Instead, I choose to believe that it was an accident that we got cut off--there is a problem with the phone and we got disconnected. I call the person right back and say, "Gosh, it sounded like we got disconnected." Usually I get voicemail. Only one time has the person answered the phone again and said, "No, I hung up on you" (to which I responded, "Why?"--that was an interesting conversation!).
It does not matter to me whether they actually hung up on me. That belief does not serve me and just makes me feel bad. The belief that it was an accident, however, has no effect on me--no problem, that kind of thing happens all the time.
Small, inconsequential beliefs like that I can just choose at a moment's notice. Others are more ingrained and take more work.
Beyond Freedom recommends writing a list of your negative beliefs and then crossing them out and replacing them with positive ones. For example, "I don't have any money" is replaced with "I am wealthy." Once you have done this, the workbook says, "here is where the real work starts. To rewire your brain, you will have to focus on the new beliefs constantly. Five minutes every day is necessary to repeat and affirm the new beliefs."
I am a HUGE believer in affirmations--I have seen them do wonders in my life (will have to write more another time). The magic of affirmations comes in the fact that your brain now begins to collect evidence that what you're saying is true. You see, your brain is ALWAYS collecting evidence. As I mentioned yesterday, it constantly needs to reaffirm that it is solid, unique, real, individual. What affirmations do is focus your brain on collecting the evidence that serves you.
Sometimes, however, especially if it's a long held or particularly deep and emotional belief, your brain will FIGHT the new suggestion. So if you start saying to yourself, "I am wealthy," your brain might start popping back with "No I'm not--look at this debt, I don't even own a house, my car is a pile of junk," etc. Your brain might start collecting evidence of the opposite of what you wanted--just to reaffirm its current belief. Tony Rush says it's "your old self fighting for its life."
So what can you do? Well, you can help your brain accept the new belief by consciously looking for evidence to support it, rather than just waiting for your unconscious brain to do it.
For example, if you live in the United States, I can pretty much guarantee that no matter what your situation, you are more wealthy than the majority of people in the entire world.
One of my favorite movies is Finian's Rainbow--a 1968 musical starring Fred Astaire and Petula Clark about an irishman who steals the leprechauns' pot of gold and brings it to America. He believes that in America you can plant gold and it will grow--just look at the California gold rush and gold buried at Fort Knox! He brings his daughter all the way to America without telling her why, and when she finally asks him about, he tells her that everyone in America is rich.
"But father," she says, "Are there to poor in America? No ill-clad and no ill-housed?"
"Aye," he says, "But they're the BEST ill-clad and the BEST ill-housed in all the world!"
Even if you're homeless in America and living on the street, you have access to Social Services, food, shelters. I once heard a speaker ask his audience, "Do you have food on your shelf and a roof over your head? Then you are better off than 70% of the entire world!"
This video by Cameron Thompson is a great example. Cameron and I competed together in a contest last year and this was his entry. It was so moving to me I wrote to him immediately and have never forgotten it.
So with some beliefs, you need to make a concerted effort to change them by affirming them over and over and consciously seeking evidence of your new belief.
Some beliefs are so deep and strong, however, that you need professional help to overcome them. I'll talk about those tomorrow.
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