Lesson 22: Defining Success (Part 2)

This post is my thoughts on a lesson from the Beyond Freedom home study course for personal growth and life achievement. This course has been instrumental in transforming my life from stress-full to stress-FREE. Order your own copy today at: http://www.LibertyLeague.com/margieremmers And transform YOUR life from where you are now, to where you want to be.

In my last post, I wrote about how this lesson taught me that I can measure how successful my own life is by how simple it is. And yet, I also realized from this lesson that I do not put much attention toward making sure that it is simple. What a paradox!

When I first got my Beyond Freedom, the first thing I did was skim through the whole thing, and I remember thinking, "OK, don't need to do that exercise, don't need to do that one..."--I was so full of myself!!

I just thought I had it all together.

I couldn't see that the results I was getting in my life were a direct result of my stubborn pride...

This lesson has two exercises. The first involves plotting your successes and failures/setbacks on a graph, and the second is to write a narrative of the ways you have been successful in your life. One of the points of these exercises is to "prove" to yourself just how successful you have been in your life--and that was precisely why I didn't think I needed to do it! I just saw it as a way to bolster your self esteem--and I think rather highly of myself! In fact, I often wonder why everyone else doesn't think as highly of me! Ha ha ha!!! :o)

Seriously, though, it wasn't until I was working on this last week that I realized that you can apply the exercises to specific areas of your life.

So, for me, what came up was the idea to complete the exercise by looking specifically at areas in which I have been successful (or unsuccessful) at creating a life of simplicity.

I'm looking forward to it!

Lesson 22: Defining Success (Part 1)

This post is my thoughts on a lesson from the Beyond Freedom home study course for personal growth and life achievement. This course has been instrumental in transforming my life from stress-full to stress-FREE. Order your own copy today at: http://www.LibertyLeague.com/margieremmers And transform YOUR life from where you are now, to where you want to be.

Today's lesson is about defining success. From the lesson title, I thought it was going to be on thinking about your goals in very specific terms--we all know that that's the key to achieving them, right?

But then I read the lesson and remembered that what we are focussing on here is understanding what success means to us. How will we know when we're successful? What would have to happen in order for us to say we're a successful person?

Of course, the answer is different for everybody, but what came to mind for me personally, of course, was simplicity. When I have pared down my life to only a few, simple things that are meaningful to me, then I will feel successful.

But if I value this so much, what do I do on a daily basis to make it a reality in my life?

The lesson says, "We all have the capacity to break through, to constantly achieve more, to reach a level of personal freedom. But it doesn't just come. It won't arrive until you put forward a concerted effort. The core to success is energy, focus, attention, care and daily practice. It's practice. It's training. It's getting in a positive routine and staying there."

Wow. It never occurred to me that I should practice living a simple life. But it makes so much sense! If I have a habit of overcomplicating things, then I must make a conscious and concerted effort to allow things to be easy. Brent Payne says, "How would you do things differently if you were willing to let it be easy?" The operative phrase there, for me anyway, is willing to let it.

Another important point of the lesson is to teach us that success is not really a thing or an accomplishment, but a feeling. "So, if success is a feeling, the lesson says, "We can teach ourselves to feel successful every minute of every day."

More on how we teach ourselves to do that tomorrow.

Voluntary Simplicity (Part 2, Final)

Click here for Part 1.

Reading that article reminded me of my ideals. It reminded me of what I really what in life. It reminded me of the kind of life I really want to live--the kind of life that I have always wanted to live, but that has somehow slipped away from me as I got stuck in the "default" mode of day to day living.

One of the exercises in Beyond Freedom has us writing out our "ideal day" in as much specific detail as possible. They want us to really grasp it with all of our senses--what do we see, hear, feel, taste, smell?

Whenever I do this exercise, my mind goes to this place of utter simplicity--a place of appreciation--a place of nature--with just a little bit of "challenge" thrown in (to keep my mind focussed and engaged). How different that is from my reality, where everything is a challenge, and there is just a dash of simplicity, appreciation, and nature when I can squeeze it in.

How did my life get so upside down?

I realized as I was reading the article that I am not the only one who feels smothered by the "stuff" of life--the responsibilities, the toys, the memorabilia, the trinkets. The reaction of many people in the voluntary simplicity community has been to shun modern conveniences--to scale down. One story was of a woman who sold her 5 bedroom house and rented a little cottage in the woods. She now shares one bedroom with her two kids, who now share a bed.

But I don't resonate with that choice. When things are small, I feel cramped. I want things to be large and expansive, but empty--like the ceiling of my house when I was growing up.

Another thing that came out of the article was the attitude many of the people had about money. "The very things society teaches us to crave--wealth, status, prestige,--can actually lead to persistent feelings of depression and dissatisfaction. 'People who pursue intrinsic values--self-acceptance, making the world a better place, helping polar bears--are much happier than people who chase popularity, money and image,' says [author and associate professor of psychology Tim] Kasser. 'If you orient your life around personal growth and family and community, you'll feel better.'"

Then later, Terry Meer, a simple living participant, tells the author, "You don't need to have as much as you can get. People work 50 hours a week to afford all this stuff. But you end up with only an hour to spend with your kids or your wife. That's not living; it's living to work. I'd rather harvest sweet potatoes than work all day at a job I hate."

And that's when I realized--Liberty League is the best of both worlds. No wonder it resonated with me and felt so right. Liberty League provides the opportunity to make money--to become financially free and independent--by investing in the very things that bring us contentment in life: personal growth, family, and community.

All from following a stupid simple system a few hours a week.

Wow. Simplicity at its finest.

No wonder I love it here.

Declaration of Independence

Happy Independence Day!!!!

On July 4, 1776, thirty-four brave men, representing the hopes and ideals of hundreds of thousands of American colonists, declared in writing that "these United Colonies are, and of right ought to be, Free and Independent States;...and that as Free and Independent States, they have full power to do all...things which Independent States may of right do."

For years the colonies had suffered at the hands of "the tyrant" King George--and so that they could not possibly be misunderstood, the writers of the Declaration even included a list of 27 individual and specifc offenses that had been repeatedly wrought against the colonies. They concluded the list by saying that "in every stage of these oppressions we have petitioned for redress in the most humble terms: our repeated petitions have been answered only by repeated injury. A Prince whose character is thus marked by every act which may define a Tyrant, is unfit to be the ruler of a free people."

These men believed (and demonstated their belief) that ALL PEOPLE have a right to be free--that ALL PEOPLE HAVE A GOD-GIVEN RIGHT TO DETERMINE THEIR OWN DESTINY. They built this country to ensure that EVERYONE would have an EQUAL opportunity to create the life that they envision for themselves.

This holiday is a great time to reflect--Have we truly embraced what they have given us? Or have we succumbed to our own "tyrant"--some person or circumstance that is controlling us and preventing us from truly living the life that we desire? And if so, is that tyrant really fit to be the ruler of us?

The writers of the Declaration of Independence understood human nature and wrote that "all experience hath shewn, that mankind are more disposed to suffer...than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed."

Let me say that again: Mankind are more disposed to SUFFER than to RIGHT THEMSELVES.

So which will it be? Will we continue to suffer? Or will we declare our own independence, RIGHT what is WRONG in our lives, and ABOLISH the forms (habits) to which we are accustomed?

I will leave that for you to ponder.

Again, Happy Independence Day--and I mean that in EVERY sense of the word. :o)

Voluntary Simplicity (Part 1)

It never ceases to amaze me how the Universe always provides exactly what you need at the exact moment you need it, in exact alignment with you demonstrating exactly what you want.

This weekend, the January 2009 issue of "O" magazine landed in my lap. It had been a prop for a play I was producing, and when we closed the show Saturday night, I started to throw it away but at the last minute decided instead to take it home for recycling.

Then, on Sunday, I was suffering a bit of a stomachache, so I left church early and went home to bed. There next to the bed was the magazine. I picked it up and started reading an article called Back to Basics by Allison Glock.

The headline reads:

Overwhelmed by consumerism and sobered by the economy, more Americans are embracing the less-is-more philosophy of "voluntary simplicity," trading possession obsession for personal fulfillment. Allison Block drops in on a few devoted followers and discovers that for them, enough really is enough.

I read the article with enthusiasm. After all, I was once part of the voluntary simplicity movement--sort of.

I grew up in a cluttered home. Three bedrooms, two bathrooms, two living areas, and four people, we should have had plenty of room, but stuff was everywhere. So much so that although we had both a dining room table and a "breakfast bar" (a counter extended from the kitchen that my brother and I fondly referred to as "the restaurant"), we could only eat at one of them, because the other was piled with "stuff." My mom, a collector of sentimental memorabilia and "just in case" doodads, would say, "We're messy, not dirty."

For as long as I can remember, I hated it. In fact, I used to lie on the floor, look up, and wish that I lived on the ceiling--there, everything was clean and empty.

Now, in the interest of full disclosure, I will admit that my own room was no better than the rest of the house. After all, although I dreamed of a better life, I didn't know how to accomplish it, and even as an adult I struggle with "stuff"--my ideal of owning nothing constantly battling my ingrained belief that "I should have..."

So it was with great excitement that I found the voluntary simplicity community a few years ago. I really believed that they could help me reconcile my ideal with my reality.

Unfortunately, the particular group that I joined was more interested in anti-consumerism than simplicity. In fact, it seemed to me that the lengths that they went to to scrimp and save and recycle and avoid buying anything was actually complicating their lives. It wasn't what I wanted--it just didn't resonant with me. It sounds silly, but one of the great moments of my life came the day that I realized I could throw away a paper clip. Let me explain.

I keep my paperclips in a box behind my desk in my basement office. I live in a three story house. If I came across a loose paperclip anywhere else in the house, I used to hold onto it, keep track of it, put it where I could see it, try to remember it, and eventually make sure it made its way to the box of paperclips behind my desk in my basement office. Not a lot of work, but a lot of mental energy.

Then one day I had a revelation--I realized that I could actually throw away a paper clip. This was unheard of. It wasn't done. It was wasteful. It was irresponsible! Ah, but it was freedom.

That was the kind of simplicity I was looking for, and so I left the group.

I had nearly forgotten all about the movement until I picked up the magazine on Sunday.

Click here for Part 2.

Lesson 21: Self Image

This post is my thoughts on a lesson from the Beyond Freedom home study course for personal growth and life achievement. This course has been instrumental in transforming my life from stress-full to stress-FREE. Order your own copy today at: http://www.LibertyLeague.com/margieremmers And transform YOUR life from where you are now, to where you want to be.

As always, today's Beyond Freedom lesson is a perfect reflection of what is going on in my life at the moment. (How do they do that?)

My 7 year old son struggles with skin rashes--a reaction, apparently, to things in his environment that he is sensitive or allergic to. We have seen multiple doctors and a dermatologist, we use only green household products (laundry detergent, etc.), and we have tried just about every type of ointment on the market, all to no avail.

We finally took him to an alternative medicine doctor (the one I mention in my book), who suggested that there were a number of things we could do with diet to help him.

So I decided (with the family's agreement), that the whole family was going to go on a clean food detox. That is, absolutely no junk and only the healthiest, freshest, most "alive" foods we could get.

I happened to have on my bookshelf Raw Food Life Force Energy by Natalia Rose that I had picked up at Border's for cheap. I had been reading it and thought that at some point it would be a fun experiment to try the 21 day detox plan that it includes.

Well, after the latest trip to the doctor, I realized the time was now.

The interesting thing about this program is that it's not just about eating and exercise--it's about your whole outlook on life and how you behave. Kind of like Beyond Freedom for your body!

The kids and I made journals on our first day to keep track of what we ate, how we liked it, and what we did. The author also provides "homework" each day, which are questions to write or think about.

The other day our homework was "Write down what you would do with your life if no one could criticize or praise you. How would you spend your time? Would you create something? If so, what? Would your life be very different? What does this tell you about how much power you give to other people? Just take a moment to explore this idea. You don't need to have all the answers. Being honest with yourself is the most important part of this exercise."

I wrote the following:

If I could do anything I wanted, I would spend half my time relaxing and enjoying sensual pleasures--the warm sun, the fresh air, a massage, a bike ride, a walk on the beach. The other half of the time I would be using my brain to figure out a solvable problem--pay bills, crunch numbers, work on a website. I would sing and dance whenever and wherever I wanted. I would be excited, happy, joyous, and enthusiastic about every moment of my life.

Then today I opened up my Beyond Freedom. Today's exercise is one of the most difficult in the whole program. In fact, I know many people who have skipped it--not done it or not done it completely because it is so hard.

It involves standing naked in front of a mirror and having a deep and powerful discussion with yourself--asking yourself a series of profound, thought-provoking questions.

One of the questions is "Are you the best possible person you can be?"

As I asked myself this question, my mind returned to my detox journal and my response to what I would choose to do if I were absolutely in control of my own life. I thought about how far I fall short of my own ideal for my life--how my excuses pile up--I'm too tired, I have too much to do, too much responsibility. And I thought about the author's question: "What does this tell you about how much power you give to other people?"

So I asked myself...

Why don't I relax and take time to enjoy the journey? Because I have too much to do. I have too many people relying on me--and I let them. I accept it. I volunteer. I say yes. I take it on.

Why don't I sing and dance wherever and whenever I want? Because other people will think I'm weird, my family will be embarrassed, I will be a social outcast, I will be lonely.

Why am I not excited, happy, joyous, and enthusiastic about every moment of my life? Because I'm too distracted by what I have to do to keep up with my life--to answer to other's people's requirements.

Yes, it's powerful to look and see how much other people control my life.

It was a deep and powerful exercise, and I can't say that I have all the answers. We humans are, after all, a collective group of people working together--and we do rely on each other to learn, grow, and become better people. And I have already agreed to take on my responsibilities. And most of them do, in fact, bring me great joy on some level.

So the answer cannot be to cut out everyone from my life and shirk my responsibilities in one fell swoop.

I suppose, like everything in life, the answer is balance.

Lesson 20: New Beliefs (Part 5, Final)

This post is my thoughts on a lesson from the Beyond Freedom home study course for personal growth and life achievement. This course has been instrumental in transforming my life from stress-full to stress-FREE. Order your own copy today at: http://www.LibertyLeague.com/margieremmers And transform YOUR life from where you are now, to where you want to be.

Last week I spent a great deal of time talking about this powerful lesson in Beyond Freedom and how I had had so many recent experiences with it.

I left off in Thursday's post talking about the different ways to change our beliefs--how some are easier to do than others, and that while most can be changed on our own, some, I believe, require professional help.

I had a personal experience with this very thing recently, and I hesitate to share it because it is, in fact, VERY personal and this blog is, obviously, VERY public. But, when I started this blog two years ago, I made a commitment to be open, honest, and transparent. I wrote:

In this journal, I am publishing to the world the deepest, most intimate parts of what makes up me--both the good and the stuff that needs to be gotten rid of. It will mention people who have had a major impact on me, and they may not like what they read. It will mention events that have shaped who I am and who I am becoming, and the people involved may or may not agree with my recollection of details or my interpretation of them. It will be like I am on my very own reality show.

Whew--I feel like I am falling just thinking about it! But, as I have recently learned, that is the true test of walking by faith.

So this is me. Being real. Being honest. Being vulnerable.

A few months ago, a friend of mine suggested I read the book The Art of Seduction by Robert Greene. Though it is about sexual conquests, my friend suggested that it would provide valuable insights into the world of human psychology and that that understanding would help me improve my success in business. I thought it would be a good book to read on my upcoming vacation, so I picked up a copy.

The first section of the book provides a historical look at some of the great seducers in history (Cleopatra, Marilyn Monroe, Casanova, etc.) and their varying styles and methods. The idea is that while you are reading this section, one of the styles will "resonate" with you--the one that is most like you. Then the rest of the book will help you perfect your particular style.

While at first as I read the book, I instantly saw the parallels to business, I very quickly developed a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. A limiting belief in my life surfaced that was so strong and so powerful that I doubted I could overcome it. I was plunged into a deep depression as scenes from my life flashed before my eyes.

I shrank from what was staring me in the face: no one has ever been attracted to me and no one ever would be.

Example after example appeared before me. All the times I had "tried" to attract someone (as they described in the book) and failed. All the times I had tried to "start over" and become a different person. Heartache after heartache when it didn't happen--despite doing the exact same things I saw others doing.

Now I understood why I had been unsuccessful in business--clients weren't attracted to me.

Now I understood why I have struggled to lose weight--the belief that no matter how skinny I got or how great I looked, people still wouldn't be attracted to me.

It seemed painfully obvious and clear--there was something innately unattractive about me. I doubted I could overcome it. I might as well stop my entrepreneurial efforts--I will never be successful. I might as well stop trying to look good--even if I do, it won't do me any good. I might as well go back to my small life, my small dreams, and my unsatisfying relationships. It's innate. It was born in me. I'll never change. Quit now.

Those were my thoughts in the depths of my despair, and no amount of persuasion could make me see it otherwise--no amount of pointing out the times when people were attracted me could help me shake this pathetic feeling.

But I could not believe that it was impossible to change. If I believe, and I do, that I am a child of God, a being of light and energy, endowed with all the power that He has and capable of all that he is capable of; if I believe Jesus, and I do, when he said that we are capable of works even greater than what he has done (John 14:12), then I can do anything--including change whatever it is that is causing me to somehow be unattractive.

After all, if I could not change, how could I ever tell others that they can? If I could not change, then every battered woman must stay in violent relationships. Every child born into poverty must stay there. Every homeless person must remain homeless.

No, I HAD to believe that it was possible to change--for me, and for everyone else. But how? This belief was so strong and deep rooted, that I saw it as a thick black tar that was permeating my spirit and my life. How do I remove something so sticky that has been accumulating for so many years?

Just then, I received an email from my friend and energy healer, Amy Flynn, with the title, "Are You In Prison?" In it she described how limiting beliefs keep us back from achieving all we are capable of. I knew immediately that she would be able to help me, but I never dreamed how deeply transforming the session would be.

I immediately contacted Amy and told her my sob story. I was shocked to learn that she believed I could be completely healed in one 90 minute session. "She just doesn't get it," I thought. "She doesn't understand how profound this belief is--how deep, how dark, how oppressive."

But I believed in her. I had had positive experiences with her money reiki healings, I had connected with her on other topics that we have discussed over the last couple of years, I understood that I was causing this reality and that she would be able to provide guidance in helping me see through it. But most importantly, I believe that there are no coincidences, and that when the Universe provides you with answers to a question you are seeking, you must act. There was a reason that her email arrived in my inbox at the precise moment that it did.

Well, our session took quite a bit longer than 90 minutes. I was shocked to hang up the phone and discover that we had talked for three hours!!! She wasn't kidding when she said she would stay with me until she felt the issue was resolved. What a difference from traditional "therapists" who only work with a client until "the time is up"--and resolution? Ha! I could have been in therapy for YEARS without resolving anything. It seems almost magical that one night could completely clear it up--simply by shedding light on something I had been keeping in the dark.

But I'm getting ahead of myself.

To my surprise, my session with Amy was more like childhood regression therapy--taking a look back at things that have happened in the past. And I will admit that it felt strange to be looking back at my childhood at a time I don't actually remember. She started by asking me about when I was three, and since I don't remember when I was three, I felt like I was making it up--bringing to life pictures from a photo album. But even so, what it reaveled to me was profound.

Though not specifically related to my issue of attraction, I received a powerful insight from that first "visit," so I want to mention it briefly here.

As I mentioned, she asked me to remember when I was three, and so I pictured what I know about the house that I lived in and brought to life a picture from Christmas long ago. My younger brother and I were playing with our new toys by the Christmas tree. Soon, I noticed the older neighbor kids were playing in our front yard. I went outside to watch them--the adult Margie noticing that I was very independent...I didn't ask permission and just went.

I went outside and they were laughing and playing, and I just sat on the sidelines watching and wanting so badly to play with them, but feeling like I couldn't.

Amy kept asking me why I wasn't playing with them--did they say you couldn't? No, I said, I just feel like I can't--but I want to so badly. They're having so much fun. I want to, but I can't.

This vision was a profoundly moving and insightful experience for me. It reflected exactly what I was feeling at that moment in my life: I am a strong and independent woman. I do what I want without having to ask permission of anyone. I see people all around me who are having fun, living the life of their dreams, swimming in money--and yet something is holding me back. My desire is so strong, but for some reason I feel like I can't join in, even though no one has told me that I can't.

Over time, we eventually did get to the core issue. We came across an experience that happened when I eight years old--a time when my mother yelled at one of my classmates and made her cry. Though I remembered the event clearly, I never really thought that it was all that significant in my life. But Amy asked me a profound and piercing question. "What DECISIONS has little 8-year old Margie made about herself? What does she believe at this moment?"

Instantly, I knew the answer. It was something I hadn't thought for over 30 years, but indeed used to plague me: "People always get hurt around me," I said.

Later in the session, this theme would repeat itself: "People always get hurt around me."

When the regression portion of our session was over, Amy asked me, "Margie, can you see how the hurt that people experienced in these situations was a result of their own actions?" Yes, I said. "And can you see how having an underlying belief that people always get hurt around you would cause you to send a beacon out to the world--'Stay away, stay away'?" Yes. "And can you see that people in your life have just been responding to that signal?" Oh, yes!

"Margie," she said, "I want you to think of two people that you have inspired and empowered just by being a part of their life."

Got it. I instantly thought of a friend who just the previous day had sent me a lovely, personal email about how I had inspired her and blessed her life, as well as someone I had recently met who I assisted in introducing to a man she was attracted to (and who eventually asked for her phone number)--she was ecstatic and couldn't praise me enough the rest of the evening.

"Think of another."

OK, got it--another friend who I am grateful to have in my life and who I know is grateful to have me in hers.

"And another"

Got it--another friend.

"Margie, can you see how your presence in these people's lives is actually a GIFT?"

Oh, YES!

It was a powerful realization. Impossible to write in this blog. It has absolutely transformed my life.

Thanks to Amy's help and guidance, I was able to uncover the limiting belief that was buried under the limiting belief. In one night we were able not only to completely eradicate what was holding me back in my life, but to provide me with renewed energy, clarity, and purpose.

Since our session, my life has been miraculous. I view every person I meet as an opportunity to present a beautiful gift of joy and love. People are starting conversations with me--wanting to meet me and get to know me. Suddenly my inbox is filled with leads for my business. Goals that I have "said" I wanted to achieve for years (for example, remodeling my house) are actually starting to materialize around me. I feel great about my body and am starting to lose this stubborn weight.

It seems miraculous, but really, it's just another example of how damaging our limiting beliefs can be and how transforming it is to just change them.

If YOU would like to spend some time uncovering YOUR limiting beliefs at a deep and powerful level, contact Amy. She has been such a blessing in my life and to everyone on this planet who has the good fortune to know her and be touched by her connection to the profound truths she sees so clearly--all because she is plugged in to the infinite wisdom and provides a conduit for anyone who reaches out for her help. Her fees are ridiculously too low--I would have paid ten times what I did to achieve this inner peace, guidance, and direction.

To contact her and to inquire about working with her one on one, email:

amy (AT) allabout-energy.com

And be sure to visit her websites as well:
AllAbout-Energy.com
MoneyReikiHealing.com

The Power of Focus

Wow. What an amazing week I had last week.

A week ago Friday, I was talking to my friend Aisza. She was saying how much she admired me for really playing full out in life and in business--and how she was kicking herself that she wasn't doing the same. I responded that in fact I was NOT playing full out--that there was SO much more I could be doing--that I hadn't picked up my Beyond Freedom in months and that although I was saying I was working my business 2 hours a day, in fact it was only about 45 minutes on average.

So I made a commitment then and there that for one week I would do exactly what I say I'm supposed to do: one hour of Beyond Freedom, two solid hours of income generating activity, and one testimonial each day.

And WOW.

I am astounded at how powerful FOCUS and COMMITMENT can be.

I had the BEST week I have had in any business I have run (and this is my fourth). And I don't mean income--I have made more money than I did last week.

What was astonishing was how I felt inside--in control, on purpose, excited, powerful--and it just came from being focussed and keeping a commitment to myself--despite the many times when I found myself resisting or dragging my feet.

Beginning on Friday, my excuses overcame my determination, and here it is Tuesday, and I find I am playing catch up.

But choose not to beat myself up about it.

I have had a taste of what this business and this life is supposed to be like, and now I know EXACTLY what to do to get the results I want. It's very simple: be focused and committed to staying on target. Do what you said you were going to do.

And just keep doing it.

Life is so exciting! ANYTHING is within our grasp!

What a thrill to be on such an amazing journey...

Lesson 20: New Beliefs (Part 4)

This post is my thoughts on a lesson from the Beyond Freedom home study course for personal growth and life achievement. This course has been instrumental in transforming my life from stress-full to stress-FREE. Order your own copy today at: http://www.LibertyLeague.com/margieremmers And transform YOUR life from where you are now, to where you want to be.

So yesterday I talked about my own personal explanation as to why we hold our beliefs so tightly. You can read yesterday's post to learn my outlandish theory.

Today it's time to take a look at how we can change our beliefs.

Some beliefs are easy to change. For example, when I am on the phone with a potential client and they hang up on me (which occasionally happens), I could believe that they are rude (and get upset) or that there is something wrong with me (and get depressed). Instead, I choose to believe that it was an accident that we got cut off--there is a problem with the phone and we got disconnected. I call the person right back and say, "Gosh, it sounded like we got disconnected." Usually I get voicemail. Only one time has the person answered the phone again and said, "No, I hung up on you" (to which I responded, "Why?"--that was an interesting conversation!).

It does not matter to me whether they actually hung up on me. That belief does not serve me and just makes me feel bad. The belief that it was an accident, however, has no effect on me--no problem, that kind of thing happens all the time.

Small, inconsequential beliefs like that I can just choose at a moment's notice. Others are more ingrained and take more work.

Beyond Freedom recommends writing a list of your negative beliefs and then crossing them out and replacing them with positive ones. For example, "I don't have any money" is replaced with "I am wealthy." Once you have done this, the workbook says, "here is where the real work starts. To rewire your brain, you will have to focus on the new beliefs constantly. Five minutes every day is necessary to repeat and affirm the new beliefs."

I am a HUGE believer in affirmations--I have seen them do wonders in my life (will have to write more another time). The magic of affirmations comes in the fact that your brain now begins to collect evidence that what you're saying is true. You see, your brain is ALWAYS collecting evidence.  As I mentioned yesterday, it constantly needs to reaffirm that it is solid, unique, real, individual. What affirmations do is focus your brain on collecting the evidence that serves you.

Sometimes, however, especially if it's a long held or particularly deep and emotional belief, your brain will FIGHT the new suggestion. So if you start saying to yourself, "I am wealthy," your brain might start popping back with "No I'm not--look at this debt, I don't even own a house, my car is a pile of junk," etc. Your brain might start collecting evidence of the opposite of what you wanted--just to reaffirm its current belief. Tony Rush says it's "your old self fighting for its life."

So what can you do? Well, you can help your brain accept the new belief by consciously looking for evidence to support it, rather than just waiting for your unconscious brain to do it.

For example, if you live in the United States, I can pretty much guarantee that no matter what your situation, you are more wealthy than the majority of people in the entire world.

One of my favorite movies is Finian's Rainbow--a 1968 musical starring Fred Astaire and Petula Clark about an irishman who steals the leprechauns' pot of gold and brings it to America. He believes that in America you can plant gold and it will grow--just look at the California gold rush and gold buried at Fort Knox! He brings his daughter all the way to America without telling her why, and when she finally asks him about, he tells her that everyone in America is rich.

"But father," she says, "Are there to poor in America? No ill-clad and no ill-housed?"

"Aye," he says, "But they're the BEST ill-clad and the BEST ill-housed in all the world!"

Even if you're homeless in America and living on the street, you have access to Social Services, food, shelters. I once heard a speaker ask his audience, "Do you have food on your shelf and a roof over your head? Then you are better off than 70% of the entire world!"

This video by Cameron Thompson is a great example. Cameron and I competed together in a contest last year and this was his entry. It was so moving to me I wrote to him immediately and have never forgotten it.


So with some beliefs, you need to make a concerted effort to change them by affirming them over and over and consciously seeking evidence of your new belief.

Some beliefs are so deep and strong, however, that you need professional help to overcome them. I'll talk about those tomorrow.

Lesson 20: New Beliefs (Part 3)

This post is my thoughts on a lesson from the Beyond Freedom home study course for personal growth and life achievement. This course has been instrumental in transforming my life from stress-full to stress-FREE. Order your own copy today at: http://www.LibertyLeague.com/margieremmers And transform YOUR life from where you are now, to where you want to be.

OK, so picking up where I left off yesterday, I was about to reveal a crazy belief that I have recently accepted as true. Whether it is in reality true makes no difference--believing it serves me.

As I mentioned, despite the fact that we seem solid, we humans (and everything in our universe) are actually just spinning energy--and frankly it is somewhat of a miracle that we can even keep our shape.

Whether we consciously realize this or not, as we learned from Jill Bolte Taylor, there is a part of our brain (the right hemisphere) that knows this. The rest of our brain, however, believes the illusion that we are solid, and CONTINUES TO TRY TO PROVE ITSELF RIGHT. It is constantly looking for security and reassurance that we are solid, we are unique, and we are individual.

We are really just floating in space, but there is a part of us that keeps trying to hold on to something.

This is another thing that I learned from Jon Gabriel. He teaches that the reason people retain weight is because the body needs to feel safe. The body stores the fat because it believes that it needs it for protection. And so his program is designed to consistently send the message to the brain, "You're safe. You're OK."

From the moment we were born, we started making decisions about our universe--"Oh, when I do this, that happens!" We were born trying to "put it all together" and "figure it out." And every time we figured something out (good or bad), we breathed a sigh of relief--"Whew! OK, I got it. This I know." That belief (again, even if it limits our potential or makes us feel bad about ourselves) makes us feel secure. It makes us feel safe. It makes us feel solid.

That's why we hold our beliefs so tightly. That's why, as Beyond Freedom says, "we will evaluate and scrutinize practically every bit of information that passes in front of us. But, our beliefs are held sacred."

So if this is the case, how do we change them? How do we give up something that for so long has made us feel safe in a spinning universe? I'll have to write about that tomorrow.

Lesson 20: New Beliefs (Part 2)

This post is my thoughts on a lesson from the Beyond Freedom home study course for personal growth and life achievement. This course has been instrumental in transforming my life from stress-full to stress-FREE. Order your own copy today at: http://www.LibertyLeague.com/margieremmers And transform YOUR life from where you are now, to where you want to be.

OK, so in yesterday's post I talked about Jon Gabriel's take on belief vs. truth, and how he doesn't care whether something is true, but only whether his belief serves him--does believing that thing make him feel good, happy, complete, successful? That is his only criteria. The truth is inconsequential.

Today's Beyond Freedom lesson (continuing from yesterday) is about getting rid of beliefs that DON'T serve you ("I'm not good enough," "Everyone's out to get me," "That would make me look bad, etc."), and replacing them with beliefs that DO (e.g., "I can do anything I set my mind to").

But in some ways, that is easier said than done, because the mind is always searching for ways to strengthen its belief. As Henry Ford said, "Whether you think you can or you think you can't, you're right." You may say to yourself, "I can do anything I set my mind to," but as soon as you think it, your mind is filled with things you failed at--piles of evidence that, in fact, there are things that you can't do.

I mentioned yesterday that this exact topic is one that I have been batting around for several days. And I've come to what might seem some pretty crazy conclusions. However, my belief in the answer serves me a great deal--so I'm keeping it.

Here is what I have begun to realize: It's a commonly known fact that although we human animals seem solid, in fact we are not. In fact, we are just atoms spinning around, much more space than mass. It is quite a miracle that we are cohesive at all. In fact, Jill Bolte Taylor, neuroanatomist and author of My Stroke of Insight, describes how the right side of our brain does not even recognize separateness--how it only sees and feels with all the other energy forms in the universe. If you have not seen Jill's powerful speech at the TED (Technology, Entertainment, Design) conference, grab a kleenex and sit down for 20 minutes to watch it now. It will definitely change your perspective, it could very well change your life:


And if, like me, you can't get enough of her message, watch the videos in Oprah's Soul Series.

More tomorrow... :o)

Lesson 20: New Beliefs (Part 1)

This post is my thoughts on a lesson from the Beyond Freedom home study course for personal growth and life achievement. This course has been instrumental in transforming my life from stress-full to stress-FREE. Order your own copy today at: http://www.LibertyLeague.com/margieremmers And transform YOUR life from where you are now, to where you want to be.

Last Friday, my friend Aisza threw down the gauntlet. OK, not really--she didn't directly challenge me, but her words caused me to challenge myself in a way that I haven't in awhile. She made me realize that it has been awhile since I have picked up my Beyond Freedom. In fact, I searched through this blog and found that it was November of last year when I last posted a lesson!

During my conversation with Aisza, I committed to doing a couple things full out, 100%, for ONE WEEK--one of which was one full hour every day of work in Beyond Freedom! So here we go...

Today's lesson is titled "New Beliefs," and it never ceases to amaze me how whenever I open up my book, the topic is EXACTLY what has been on my mind!

So many recent events have brought this topic to the forefront of my mind--there is no way I am going to be able to document them in one sitting. This, by the way, is the reason why Beyond Freedom is considered a 90-day course, even though there are only 29 lessons. It often takes more than one day to complete a single lesson!

I'll start with Jon Gabriel. I don't know how exactly I bumped into Jon on the internet--was it an ad? Was it a link in someone's blog? I don't remember. Regardless, I attracted his website and became fascinated with his unique approach to weight loss--by using the mind, rather than going on a "diet." I immediately bought his book, which came with mp3's of seminars that Jon had conducted in various places.

In one of the mp3's Jon shared a FASCINATING insight. He said that he chooses what to believe based on whether it serves him--not whether it's true. "Frankly," he said, "I don't care whether it's true or not. All I care about is whether it serves me--whether believing that is helpful in my life. If it's not, I get rid of it, and choose to believe something else."

And, of course, this is what today's lesson is all about--choosing the beliefs that make us happy, that bring us success, that make us feel good. Rewriting our old beliefs into new ones that serve us.

Of course, the hard part in all this is evidence. When we believe something, we search for evidence that it is true. After all, like the lesson says, "Beliefs are etched in our subconscious mind. And we won't let go easily." We are constantly searching for things to back up what we believe is true--even if those beliefs are harmful or make us feel bad. If we believe that all store clerks are rude to us, then even if we run into 9 nice ones out of 10, we will only notice the 1 that was rude, because it confirms our belief.

Well, my hour is up. Looking forward to tomorrow so I can finish my train of thought! :o)

The Wisdom of an 8-Year Old

In case you don't already know this about me, I am a musical theatre fanatic. I love it. I'm passionate about. It is one of the greatest joys of my life and has been for as long as I can remember.

Yesterday, for some reason, I felt compelled to listen to one of my favorite musicals, Miss Saigon--the raw, gritty, and oh so tragic story of a Vietnamese woman and a soldier who fall in love the night before the fall of Saigon in April 1975. With its beautiful, sweeping melodies and intense emotion, Miss Saigon won several Tony's (Broadway's equivalent of an Academy Award) and stole the hearts of people like me everywhere.

I popped in my tape (yes, tape--the show came out in 1989!) on my way to pick up the kids from school, and, since the very adult songs about marines and prostitution were over, I asked my kids (who I'm cunningly training to like musicals as well) if they wanted to listen to it while we ran some errands.

They agreed, and as we drove I told the story and asked how they were liking it. They thought it was OK--occasionally coming across as song they liked better than others. (Yeah!)

Then we came to one song (one of my favorites) that was particularly sad--a duet called "Please," where our heroine begs a former marine to help her find her lost love and the father of her child: "Please, don't you see we've washed over, as we crossed the wildest sea? Even God wants us together...can I end this journey, please?"

When the song was over, I said to my kids, "Isn't that sad? I love that song. I used to listen to it over and over."

Then my 8 year old daughter said the wisest thing:

"If it makes you so sad, why do you keep listening to it?"

Why, indeed.

The Most Important Video You Will Ever Watch

Please take 15 minutes of your time to watch this video. It will be the most important 15 minutes of your life. It is my gift to you.

Because you are GREAT! :o)

Every Day a Vacation

Well, we got back from vacation late Friday night. We had a great time--a good mix of relaxing and getting out and about. (For pictures and a description of some of the fun things we did, feel free to visit my family blog.)

While on vacation, I had a significant personal insight: I am my best self when I am on vacation.

In Beyond Freedom, there are two exercises where we write about our ideal: first, we write about our ideal day, and second, we write about our ideal self.

I have completed both of these exercises several times, and each time I write something very similar. I am not on vacation in these exercises, but, as I realized last week, my attitude, my feelings, and my behavior are the same as when I am on vacation.

At home, I am often tired and lazy--too much so to clean up after myself, so the house turns quickly into a disaster. It is a constant battle to keep things neat and maintain the clean, simple home that I say in my affirmations that I want.

Yet, on vacation, cleaning up is natural and effortless. You would think it would be the opposite--now is my chance to be lazy! But for some reason, that's not what happens.

On vacation, I allow myself plenty of time to relax and rejuvenate. I read books I have been wanting to read. I watch little if any TV. I spend little if any time on the internet. I spend a great deal of time appreciating my life and the world around me, soaking up the joyful, peaceful time I get to spend with my family, and avoiding people, things, and situations that would upset me.

Yes, I am my best self when I am on vacation.

So it occurred to me...

Why don't I make every day a vacation?

And that's exactly what I've decided to do. The rest of my life is just going to be a string of vacations. When I am home, I will look at it as temporary (and it really is, isn't it?)--the one vacation spot I return to over and over again because I love it so much.

I won't let in any experiences that I don't absolutely love--why would I want to squander my time or potentially ruin my vacation?

The next time you talk to me, be sure to ask how my vacation is going.

Oh, and one more thing: I have decided to stop doing my Tuesday night Beyond Freedom/Stress Relief calls--I'll be on vacation.

My Bicycle Crash

So many things to be grateful for in this world! I am still alive, I'm only slightly injured, my bike is fine, I made it home OK, I landed on the grass, I was wearing my helmet, I had my cell phone, I was going up hill not down, the weather was beautiful...and on and on and on. Thank you thank you thank you!!!

Click here for the complete story.

No Call Tonight

I wiped out pretty badly on my bike today, so I'm not going to be on the call tonight. Not stressed out...just need a little time to recover. :o)

Will post a complete schedule of upcoming calls in the next few days.

In the meantime, feel free to visit the archives for some recorded stress relief!

Daily Gratitude

Research shows that people who keep a daily gratitude list feel better about their lives as a whole and feel more optimistic about the coming week. Compared to control groups, they exercise more frequently and report fewer physical complaints. They also experience more positive emotions, fewer negative emotions, and exhibit more helpful behavior towards friends and neighbors. (Emmons & McCullough, 2003) -- more... What are you grateful for? Here's my list today. Feel free to add yours to the comments!

Thank you for Aisza!!! Thank you for Facebook! Thank you for so many ideas and so much excitement. Thank you for my life...it rocks!!!!

Thank you for the money I have to do all that I want to do. Thank you for this beautiful home. Thank you thank you thank you for Dan! Thank you for so many wonderful, positive, support people all around me that support, encourage, and inspire me.

Thank you for Jason and the amazing power of attraction. Thank you for so many wonderful, incredible, beautiful things I have attracted into my life.

Thank you for technology--thank you that I was in the right place at the right time to be able to learn how to use it!

Thank you for the opportunity to use my gifts and to keep getting better and better... :o)

Daily Gratitude

Research shows that people who keep a daily gratitude list feel better about their lives as a whole and feel more optimistic about the coming week. Compared to control groups, they exercise more frequently and report fewer physical complaints. They also experience more positive emotions, fewer negative emotions, and exhibit more helpful behavior towards friends and neighbors. (Emmons & McCullough, 2003) -- more... What are you grateful for? Here's my list today. Feel free to add yours to the comments!

Wow. What a calm and peaceful morning getting the children off to school. Exactly what I asked for. Thank you thank you thank you!

Thank you for a great rehearsal last night. Thank you for a beautiful, clean house. Thank for more than enough energy to accomplish all I set out to do. Thank you for the money I have that allows to me to lead this incredible life. Thank you for the Jack Canfield call last night. Thank you for Michael Beckwith, his courage and inspiration. This words have been ringing in my ears.

Thank you for friendships getting back on track and helping me become a better person.

Thank you for my healthy body, for running water, for contact lenses that give me so much freedom and allow me to see. Thank you for my healing.

Thank you for this beautiful spring day--the sunshine, the cool breeze, the flowers starting to keep through.

Thank you for peace, calm, understanding, and joy. Life rocks!!!!

Wake Up To Success: Your Driving Passion

One of the things I mention in my book as a key to stress-free living is to surround yourself with support.  I wrote:

Remember when you were a kid and your parents were worried that you were hanging out with the wrong crowd?  Or maybe you have kids of your own and you raise a eyebrow when you see the friends they have chosen.

When we look at others, we can instinctively see the effect that the people they hang out with have on them.  It is obvious that birds of a feather flock together.

And yet we often fail to recognize the effect that the people we surround ourselves with have on us.

Every day, I join thousands of other like-minded individuals for a quick, 15-minute bolt of energy and motivation called the "Wake Up to Success" call.

Today's topic was about passion.

Sometimes we spend a lot of time try to get ourselves to focus on our goals.  I know I do this personally, using index cards, visualization and affirmation.  And I teach it as part of my weekly teleclass.

But today's leaders, Tony, Jessica, and Kevin, talked about the fact that when you are truly tapped into your passion, you don't need these external tools.  You don't need any external accountability.  You naturally do what you are passionate about.

What I have come to learn, though, is that sometimes we don't realize that we're passionate about something and so we spend a great deal of time and effort on things that we think don't matter to us and that, in fact, stress us out.

For example, let's say you agree to work on a project for someone, and you spend a huge amount of time on it--so much that you don't have time for other things and it ends up really stressing you out.

You may say that you aren't passionate about the project, but underneath what you ARE passionate about is looking good, getting praise and quick feedback, appearing perfect and put together, not disappointing others, etc.  (At least, I know those were hangups for me!)

The key, I have found, is to uncover what really is important to you.  Discover what you (yes, you) really want (yes, really want).  Once you know that, you can start walking in the direction of your own (yes, your own) desires and passion.

When you do, you'll be amazed at the joy and relief you feel.  (Unless you let it stress you out...but that's a topic for another day.)

Daily Gratitude

Research shows that people who keep a daily gratitude list feel better about their lives as a whole and feel more optimistic about the coming week. Compared to control groups, they exercise more frequently and report fewer physical complaints. They also experience more positive emotions, fewer negative emotions, and exhibit more helpful behavior towards friends and neighbors. (Emmons & McCullough, 2003) -- more... What are you grateful for? Here's my list today. Feel free to add yours to the comments!

Thank you for all the incredible experiences over the last few weeks--I have learned so much and continue to learn.  Thank you for not letting me think that I have nothing left to learn and no place to grow.  Thank you for Terri, and for Jack Canfield, and for always giving me exactly what I need at the perfect time.  Thank you for Jason and all the guys--thank you thank you thank you for all they are teaching me.  Thank you for the opportunity again and again to humble myself and get out of my own way.  Thank you for showing me the path--thank you for clarity.  Thank you for the One Acts--everything is going so well.  Thank you the opportunity to pursue my passions and dreams.  Thank you for my body, my health, and this amazing bike ride that I have attracted into my life.  Thank you for the knowledge and wisdom that I do create my own destiny--I can, and I will.  Thank you for the insight and the power.

Thank you for my amazing children, my incredible husband, my beautiful home, and my fantastic life.  Thank you for reminding me over and over again.